This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
