I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
