glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
