HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
