im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
