i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
