at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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