The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
