is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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