Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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