Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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