drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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