I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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