P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
