Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm too high and old for this...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize