the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
