What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
