Have you finally orgasmed yet?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize