she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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