Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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