I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize