YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Do vagina's smell?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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