you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
