Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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