i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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