i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
