Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
