That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
