If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize