Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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