Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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