She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
