Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
