Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
