how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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