On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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