the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
