And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
