remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
