You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
