you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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