real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
