im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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