Me too!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
pray to the hookup gods
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
