I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
