I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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