They should really pass out barf bags in church
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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