I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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