1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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