She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
