Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
