She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
