mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
