Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
