The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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