thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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