dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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