Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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