Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize