guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
