I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize