She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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