Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
