I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize