He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
foreskin is a definite game changer
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
