I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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