You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
