Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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