sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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