We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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