Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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