My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
