i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
