i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
