the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
