Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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